1. Fifa to inspect DRC’s soccer stadiums in June; concerned that seats might be made of non-certified blood minerals.
2. Burundi adopts law that severely restricts political opposition; requires organizing parties to have proof of 50,000 founding members, all of whom must have competed in a banana eating contest.
3. Brazil donates 1,562 cows to DRC in biggest international cattle dowry ever documented.
4. Rwandan envoy to British Royal wedding uses invitation to harass dubious Rwandans in the diaspora, country officially claims that a wedding is the perfect time to take dissidents by surprise.
5. Excitement abounds around DRC and Rwanda’s announcement to look into potentially building a power plant fueled by methane gas in Lake Kivu; currently raising money to see if they can afford a feasibility study on how feasible studies of energy production are in the Great Lakes.