1. Ben Affleck: sexy movie star, Boston pride, and excellent celebrity NGO manager.
2. Transparency International ranks Burundi the most corrupt country in East Africa; Burundi celebrates rewards by using public funds to throw a beach party.
3. Paul Kagame claims, ‘coincidence!’, that all opposition leaders assassinated or jailed.
4. Children witches on the uprise in the Congo, replacing older, less effective witches.
5. National University of Rwanda moves up in rankings to 3,300 best university in the world, beating out all internet-providing PhD programs.