1. Witness claims he was bribed to give testimony in ICC Lubanga case; offered exact same amount DDR packages provide.
2. UN claims that 8,000 were raped in the Eastern DRC in 2009; Standard Deviation of 7,000 and Nick Kristof tries to interview all of them.
3. Obama’s special monitor for the Great Lakes visits Bukavu to monitor situation; calls for more monitoring.
4. HRW kindly asks Rwanda to end attacks on opposition; Government responds, “but we have awesome gorilla tourism.”
5. Burundi offers tax haven to Belgium investors in attempt to incentivize more colonialism.